Personalize  An activity similar to branding, differing only
in that a brand is used to mark a valuable possession.

Pessimists  What idealists who call themselves optimists
call realists.

Pussywhipped  Being overly susceptible to your
cat’s atrocious needs.

Reincarnation  The belief that we all live, die, and are reborn,
and thus have multiple lives, the past and future lives
usually being more glamorous than the present one.
See Procrastination.

Religion  Mythology with good propaganda.
Bible  A book that documents, in detail, our virtue
and our enemy’s vice.
God  The unblamed blamer.
God-fearing man  He who is afraid of what his
neighbor will think.
Original Sin That which fuels the passion
of fundamentalists.

Restroom  A room for napping. In ancient times the room just had a single chair and some magazines, but because many users became so relaxed that they loosed their bowels, the modern day restroom now usually includes a toilet.